Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Catch Up Part 2
Monday, October 22, 2012
Catch Up Part 1
This outfit makes me smile. She woke up in the middle of the night sick and threw up. The next morning I had a surgery scheduled so my friend took Katie for a few hours. She was feeling lots better, but I didn't want to risk getting other kids sick in her class. However, since she had been sick I let her go in whatever she felt comfortable wearing. This is what she decided on... tights, a swimsuit, boots, and a flower headband. I did make her put on a sweater so that her shoulders were at least covered. These are a few typical outfits for Katie. I can't help but smile when I see her sense of fashion. :)
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Life continues to go on...
Andy has been great through this whole process. It took me a very long time to even get out of bed and he not once was impatient with me or even complained. For a long time he got up, got the girls off to school, went to work, came home, made dinner (or answered the door to whomever was bringing it that day), and got the girls off to bed. In addition he would deal with neighbors, friends, and family and all their questions and concerns. I wouldn't answer my phone, emails, texts, and especially the door. People were very kind to respect my wishes and didn't take that offensively, but Andy still had to be the bridge between me and the rest of the world. Here is the letter I sent to our RS president and then she forwarded it on to the rest of the sisters in our ward. This is probably redundant to some of you and I apologize. FYI, this is for my friends and family in the blogging world as well:
So many of you have done things for me this last month that if I gave each of you a hand written note it would take me a year to complete all of them. I'm hoping you will forgive me and accept this general thank you note to all of you. In addition I know a lot of you have asked about me and even my family and closest friends are unsure how to answer. Thus the reason for this letter.
As you know I miscarried for the 4th time and this one was by far the hardest. We had already had a couple ultrasounds and heard the baby's strong heartbeat. We were told that I only had a 3% chance of a miscarriage from that point on and were pretty much in the clear. Things were going very well when I started to have a feeling something was wrong. I spoke with a few of you about those feelings and even ventured the idea I might be having a child with special needs or a rare disease. It didn't take long after having those thoughts that I knew that wasn't what was wrong. The very next day I called my nurse and broke down. She got me in that day for an ultrasound and my feelings were confirmed that our baby had died after carrying it for 16 weeks. We had surgery the following morning and that was a hard thing in itself. Many of you brought meals for our family which I greatly appreciate. I was physically capable to do things, but emotionally I was not prepared for anything. It was so nice to know that my family was being taken care of when I wasn't ready to deal with life. We are so blessed to live in a ward that immediately steps in and helps when needed. My children were so glad when someone came by to pick them up to play or to take them to ward functions. I am so glad they were watched out for in their time of need as well. They, too, experienced the loss and it was nice others were aware of them. Many of you brought flowers or gifts and it was so great to look around and see my room looking like a floral and gift shop. (Gifts is my love language.
-Ally Wyne
It's amazing and sometimes frustrating to think that life will continue to go on no matter what. I constantly tell my friends and family, "This is not something I will get over. It's something I have to learn to live with." I think of my baby every day and I don't know if that will ever change... I'm not sure I want that to change. For those 16 weeks I was filled with joy and even though I won't be able to cradle my baby in this life I believe I will in the next life and I want to remember the blessing it was in our home to have a spirit closer to heaven than we are. The girls still ask in prayer to, "please bless the baby" which I find rather sweet. They have hope and faith, too.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Another hard day...
Sammy had lunch today with Aunt Brigetta and Grandma because she was student of the week. We learned from Brigetta that some child may have spilled the beans to Sammy, but didn't know for sure. Then just before the bus arrived I received a text from a friend saying that she saw Sammy at school and she had mentioned I was sick and Andy took me to the doctor. She asked if everything was okay and so on. From there Andy and I decided we needed to tell the girls before they heard the news from someone else.
Sammy came home from school and Brigetta dropped off Ashley and Katie. We told the girls that we needed to talk to them and to come sit on our bed. Sammy immediately said (in a very concerned tone), "Can we get to the point? What is wrong with mom? Why is she so sick?" We proceeded to tell the girls what happened yesterday and then today. Katie doesn't quite understand it all... but Sammy and Ashley both started to cry... then sob. They had a lot of questions that we tried our best to answer. We reminded them that our reason coming to this earth is to gain a body and that our little baby did what it needed. And because families are forever we will be with that baby again someday. Ashley said things like, "I wanted this baby to stay so badly. I wanted it to be with us so we could play with it." And Sammy said things like, "We were so close" and "It hurts so bad... in my heart." They are heartbroken just as much as Andy and I and Sammy amazes me with the things she asked. She is very bright and truly does understand everything going on. She was alone with me and said, "I just can't stop crying." I told her that was okay and that she can cry as long as she needed to. She then said, "Mom, I might cry at school." The poor girl is going to struggle with this just as I thought. I wish there was something I could do to help them. It's not easy going through this, but it's certainly just as hard to see my girls hurt for their loss, too.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Very Sad Day
Andy came home from work and I took Katie over to Brigetta's house. As soon as the ultrasound tech put the Doppler on my tummy I knew... There wasn't a heartbeat and no movement whatsoever. She told me the dreaded news and I began to sob uncontrollably. We then met with the doctor and his nurse... Both were emotional, too. (I really do have the best care with them.) The doctor said he didn't know why our baby died, but assured me it had nothing to do with anything I did, even my running. We had already had 2 ultrasounds. And the last time I had gone in I had just done a 4 mile run and the baby looked great. The heartbeat was a steady and strong 154 and I was told I only had a 3% chance of miscarriage from that point.
Andy says he doesn't want to talk about it because he gets weepy. He never cries... and we've been through a lot. He says this one felt real for him and it's difficult to lose his baby, too. We aren't quite sure how or when to tell the girls. They were all so excited and wanted to tell everyone. Sammy was especially excited and would tell everyone. I worry that she's going to be heartbroken because she is old enough to understand what's going on. In fact when she came home from school today she felt something was wrong. She said, "Mom, you look really, really sick." Both Katie and Ashley would rub my belly and talk to the baby. Occasionally they would hug me, talk to the baby for a second, then kiss my tummy and run off to play.
I know in time we'll recover from this, too. We'll feel peace in the future, but for now it hurts our hearts. We appreciate all the words of comfort people have already sent... but please, please don't feel offended if we don't answer doors or phones. It's hard to deal with things like this and nobody really knows what to do or say, and neither do we. I go in for surgery tomorrow morning and hopefully we can have more answers.
We love you very much our darling baby and will miss you tremendously. We will think of you often and look to the day we will be reunited. Love, Mommy, Daddy, and all your big sisters.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Prayers for Gordon
Our dear neighbor, Gordon, who lives across the street is in need of prayers. He was in a serious accident Friday night involving his mixer for his pottery (much like a cement mixer). He was taken to St. Als by life flight and was in surgery the whole night. He later was flown to SLC for further care. We just received word that he is out of the ICU, but will have more surgeries on his arm and leg. Things are looking good that he will keep his arm, but it's still a long road ahead of him. He makes steps of progress, but good thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.
Gordon is the neighborhood "daddy". He is always out in his front yard, garage, or studio surrounded by lots of little kids. My girls spend several hours at a time over at their house and Ashley and his daughter, Gracie, (shown above) are the best of friends. Gordon is so kind to the kids and lets them interact with what he's doing. My girls have lots of little pottery things that he's helped them make. And the street seems a bit lonely with him away.
Amy, his wife, is currently with him and emails or texts when she can. Their daughters are in the care of their aunt and away from the house. This is something they are all struggling with and are need of prayers as well.
We love you all and remember you in our daily prayers.
9 Years!
Monday, March 5, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
11 Weeks





























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