Positive Parenting Week 3

Personality Color Code:

Okay this one is really fun! I think this was one of the funnest classes ever! And it really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I realized why I react the way I do to certain things, and I learned why Sammy does the things she does. I love this class!

There are 3 basic things that make up our personality

• We come with a pre-existing core personality


• Gender (certain emotions and feelings)


• Environment (example: oldest child vs. youngest child.)
  

Our goal in the color code personality is to be the strengths of all the colors. Be a rainbow if you will.
We started our class with taking a color code personality test for ourselves. I was a bit surprised for two reasons. I first thought we would be taking them to figure out our children. Second, I was surprised to find out was color I was. Any guesses??? The test was taken from the book "The Color Code" by Taylor Heartman if you are interested to find out what color you are.

There are 4 colors:

• Red (Power)
  
• Blue (Intimacy)


• White (Peace)


• Yellow (Fun)

Red: Power
They are motivated by power! They are right! Just ask them. They tend to be the leaders of the world and we desperately need them. They believe they are good. Reds work quickly but like to have things done their way. They want to win! They get out of sorts if they lose and they want a bottom line. Be direct! They are a lot more prone to do it if they are not filled with woes. They are control oriented and they are good problem solvers. Learn to listen and be more sensitive. Don't embarrass a red in front of other people! They crave approval. Allow a red child to pick their own jobs. They want to be productive. They will have hotter tempers, but then it's gone. Present issues logically and demand their attention and respect. Be direct, brief and specific in conversation. Be productive and efficient. Offer them leadership opportunities. Verbalize your feelings and support their decisive nature. Promote their intelligent reasoning where appropriate. Be prepared with facts and figures. Respect their need to make their own decision their own way. Don't argue from an emotional perspective, because they will argue for the sake of arguing. Don't expect a Red to have a personal and intimate relationship, and be careful how much you expect from them. Don't force them to hug or kiss you. Don't attack them personally and don't take their arguments personally. Don't demand constant social interaction. They need alone time!

Blue: Intimacy
(Blue personalities are the majority.) They are loyal and predictable. Blues have closer relationships. They are family and group oriented. They are very well organized. They create stability and safety. They like slow and careful change. Don't spring things on them! They like to have a plan and want to know why. They do things because it's the "right" thing to do. Learn to count your blessings and quit being so negative. They can get stuck-- stagnates. They will take on other's problems as their own. Sometimes they lack creativity and are afraid to take risks. They tend to procrastinate. Blue is a very strong personality! If living in a jungle Blue/Red would be a lion. Be loyal, sincere, and genuine. Be sensitive and soft spoken in your approach. Promote their creativity and allow ample time for them to gather their thoughts before expressing themselves. Don't make them feel guilty. Don't be rude or abrupt. Don't demand perfection (they already expect too much of themselves). Don't expect quick forgiveness and immediate action. Don't expect them to bounce back easily or quickly from depression. Do not abandon them! They expect so much from themselves and take on other's problems that it's easier for them to fall into depression. They need to learn to lighten up and not take things too seriously and have some fun!

White: Peace
They have the attitude of, "Why can't everybody get along and be nice?" They are easily broken. If you come across too strong, you'll discourage them and they'll quit and give up. Be careful about criticism. They are hard to motivate and you may have to hold their hand through a lot of things. For example, you could tell your white child to go clean their room and they would say, "Okay, Mom!" Ten minutes later you'll find them outside with the dog. This could go on and instead you may need to go with them to their room and say, "Okay, I want you to pick up the barbie dolls and put them in the toy box... Now I want you to pick up the books and put them on the shelf." However, they like things simple and peaceful. They'll do things right because they don't want to stand out. They will be the one at a dance content to sit in a corner. They don't mind playing/being by themselves. As a parent we need to teach the white child to be more aggressive. They fear criticism and work and they don't trust their own judgement. Be firm, but gentle and patient! That is key, in my opinion. Patience!!! They are happy to stay home, so make it a place they love!

Yellow: Fun!
They are very people oriented! They love to talk about themselves and tend to be interrupters. They are open and share their feelings. They have trouble staying focused. They don't need to be neat, and may feel that cleaning is a necessary evil. They want to be liked! This can be dangerous for a teenager in these perilous times. If they are turned in the right direction they will do very well, but they want to be popular. They fear rejection and are easily led. They are the life of a party! They like to have fun in the family and when there isn't any they will create it. "We need more yellows in the world!" They are the minority. (There were only 3 in our entire class.) You need to be positive with them. Adore them and touch them physically. Accept their playful teasing. Remember they are tender and praise them. Remember they hold feelings deeply and enjoy their charismatic innocence. Allow them opportunity for verbal expression and promote playful activities for and with them. Don't ignore them! Don't be too serious or sober in criticism and demand perfection. Don't push them too intensely. Don't forget they have "down" times also. Don't expect them to dwell on problems (think of Pollyanna). Don't classify them as "just" lightweight social butterflies. Don't totally control their schedules. Allow them to be spontaneous!
It was really fun to listen to Sister Tanner talk about her personality and her husband's. She is a blue and her husband is a "Bright Yellow!" I loved that she talked about her husband used to frustrate her and now she can honestly say that she doesn't criticize him. "When he (sniffs), I don't hate him! And I have to say that I'm grateful he's a yellow. He has taught me how to have fun." It really was very sweet, and so fun to sit in that class!

Homework:

• Figure out what you, your spouse, and children's colors are


• Figure out their needs


• Strengthen their strengths


• Help them overcome their weaknesses

This next week you will pigeonhole people. You are allowed to do that for one week! If you do it longer you don't allow them to change. Tell your children in their own language that you love them. As you accept and understand who your children are they will feel your love.

Now, I'm curious to see what you think our color's are? Andy and I at one point turned, looked at each other, and said, "Sam's a ___!" We still can't quite figure out what Ashley is but we are eliminating what she is not. And Katie is just a 2 year old. She's too young to have a definite personality color, yet. I thought Andy's color was very bright and obvious but I was surprised to find out what I was. However, Shiloam picked them all out off the top of her head. There are polls to the right so you can vote or you can leave me a comment. I'll let you in on the answers soon.