Another hard day...

As stated in the previous post we went in early this morning for surgery. We had to be there by 6:30 and I barely slept 3 hours last night. When we got there it took awhile before they took us back for pre-op. Finally we were able to meet with the doctor. We asked lots of questions and really he didn't have many answers. He said we could spend thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to find out why things happened the way they did to end up with the same answer, "We don't know." They rolled me in for surgery about 9 and thank goodness I was under general anesthesia so I just went to sleep. When I woke up I was pretty sore and my throat is a little tender, but not too bad. Soon after Andy was able to come back and sit with me. And then we were out of there about noon.

Sammy had lunch today with Aunt Brigetta and Grandma because she was student of the week. We learned from Brigetta that some child may have spilled the beans to Sammy, but didn't know for sure. Then just before the bus arrived I received a text from a friend saying that she saw Sammy at school and she had mentioned I was sick and Andy took me to the doctor. She asked if everything was okay and so on. From there Andy and I decided we needed to tell the girls before they heard the news from someone else.

Sammy came home from school and Brigetta dropped off Ashley and Katie. We told the girls that we needed to talk to them and to come sit on our bed. Sammy immediately said (in a very concerned tone), "Can we get to the point? What is wrong with mom? Why is she so sick?" We proceeded to tell the girls what happened yesterday and then today. Katie doesn't quite understand it all... but Sammy and Ashley both started to cry... then sob. They had a lot of questions that we tried our best to answer. We reminded them that our reason coming to this earth is to gain a body and that our little baby did what it needed. And because families are forever we will be with that baby again someday. Ashley said things like, "I wanted this baby to stay so badly. I wanted it to be with us so we could play with it." And Sammy said things like, "We were so close" and "It hurts so bad... in my heart." They are heartbroken just as much as Andy and I and Sammy amazes me with the things she asked. She is very bright and truly does understand everything going on. She was alone with me and said, "I just can't stop crying." I told her that was okay and that she can cry as long as she needed to. She then said, "Mom, I might cry at school." The poor girl is going to struggle with this just as I thought. I wish there was something I could do to help them. It's not easy going through this, but it's certainly just as hard to see my girls hurt for their loss, too.